Should I block my ex?

People ask this as an etiquette question. It is a practical one: what exactly do you want to stop doing?

What blocking actually does

It does not end feelings and it does not send a message worth decoding. It removes one thing: the physical possibility of opening the conversation and seeing when they were last online. For a state sustained by dozens of small checks a day, that is the whole effect.

Which is why 'isn't it a bit dramatic?' usually misses. Drama requires an audience, and in most cases the person never finds out. If they do, it changes nothing about the reason it was done.

When it works well

Blocking works best when the problem is your own re-entry: opening the thread twenty times a day, rereading old messages, checking their last-seen. It removes the choice, and removing a choice you keep making badly is a reasonable thing to do.

It also works when their messages arrive in waves and each one costs you a day. A separate case is pressure, blame or threats — there, engaging with the content is pointless, and limiting the channel is the only measure that holds.

When it solves nothing

If you check through mutual friends, a second account or other people's stories, blocking closes one door out of five. Either close them all deliberately, or accept that the issue is not access but attention — and treat that instead.

If there are children, a shared tenancy, unsettled money or a shared employer, a full block creates more problems than it removes. There the move is to constrain the format: one channel for logistics, notifications off, replies once a day, specific subjects only.

If you have already unblocked

Blocking and unblocking is an ordinary part of this, not a verdict on your resolve. Treat it as an experiment: you tested whether you could manage without the restriction and got an answer. The answer may be different in a month.

What is worth noticing is the state you are in when you unblock. If it is reliably a difficult evening, the measure belongs to evenings rather than to the block — an evening that is planned in advance does more than any decision taken inside one.

Frequently asked questions

Will they think I still care?

Possibly. But the point of blocking is what you stop doing twenty times a day, not what conclusion they draw from it.

Is blocking permanent?

It does not have to be. It is a measure for a period when contact costs more than its absence, and the period is judged by your state rather than by the calendar.

What if they want to apologise and cannot reach me?

Someone who genuinely needs to apologise finds a route — a mutual friend, an email. The absence of any attempt is itself informative.

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